Postpartum Healing Takes Longer Than We’re Told
When You Thought You’d Feel Better by Now
There’s a quiet expectation placed on new parents that after a certain amount of time, things should feel better.
Six weeks.
Three months.
“Once the baby starts sleeping more.”
“Once you get into a routine.”
But what happens when time passes and you’re still tired beyond words?
When your emotions still feel tender. When your body still doesn’t quite feel like yours. When you’re functioning and surviving, but still nowhere close to thriving.
February is often when this question becomes most obvious:
Why don’t I feel better yet?
And the answer is simple and uncomfortable at the same time. Because postpartum healing takes longer than we’re told. And winter is well… winter.
Why This Feeling Often Shows Up in February
February sits in a strange place in the postpartum timeline.
The initial adrenaline has worn off. Support may have dropped off. The holidays are over. The days are still short. The cold lingers.
This is often when parents realize they are still very much in the middle of postpartum, even if the outside world has moved on.
Some common reasons this month feels especially hard:
Your body is still recovering from pregnancy and birth
Sleep deprivation has accumulated over time
Hormones are continuing to shift
You may be carrying more of the mental load
Winter limits movement, sunlight, and social connection
Expectations around “getting back to normal” start creeping in
None of this means you’re failing. It means you’re human.
Postpartum Healing is Not a Straight Line
One of the biggest misconceptions about postpartum is that healing happens in neat stages. In reality, it comes in waves.
You might feel okay one week and completely undone the next.
You might physically feel stronger while emotionally feeling raw.
You might love your baby deeply and still feel overwhelmed or disconnected from yourself.
All of this can coexist.
If you’re still struggling, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your mind is still recalibrating. Your body is still integrating a massive transformation. Your identity is still shifting.
This is normal. Even when it feels isolating.
The Invisible Weight Parents Carry
Many parents quietly carry thoughts like:
I should be handling this better.
Other parents seem fine by now.
I don’t want to complain.
I should be grateful.
These thoughts often keep parents from asking for help, even when they desperately need it.
Postpartum is not meant to be done alone. Historically, it never was. Support is not a luxury or a sign of weakness. It is a protective factor for both parents and babies.
If you’re feeling stretched thin, emotionally fragile, or constantly exhausted, it may not be because you’re not doing enough. It may be because you’re doing too much without support.
How Support can Change this Season
Support does not have to mean something is wrong. It simply means you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.
Depending on what you need, support might look like:
Daytime postpartum doula care to help with newborn care, emotional support, light household tasks, and giving you space to rest
Overnight infant care so you can get real, restorative sleep and reset your nervous system
Sleep consulting to help you understand your baby’s patterns and reduce the stress around nights
New parent classes or community hangouts that remind you you’re not alone in this
Sometimes even one small shift in support can change how the entire week feels.
If you’ve been thinking about reaching out but keep telling yourself to wait a little longer, this is your permission not to wait.
You are not Behind
You are not late to healing.
You are not failing postpartum.
You are not weak for needing help.
You are doing something profoundly demanding during one of the hardest seasons of the year.
February does not require you to push harder. It invites you to slow down, be open to support, and acknowledge where you truly are.
A Gentle Reminder
If you thought you’d feel better by now and you don’t, nothing has gone wrong. Your body and heart are still doing important work behind the scenes.
And you deserve support while that work is happening.
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply tired of carrying everything on your own, Sun & Stars Birth Services offers compassionate daytime support, overnight infant care, and personalized sleep consulting.
You can schedule a discovery call to explore what kind of support would feel most helpful right now.
